If i got £1 for every time I heard someone say “Oh that’s just how they are”, my pockets would be weighed down.
We choose what behaviours we exhibit (we are not born with them) and therefore we can choose different behaviours……..if we wish.
Of course some people want to stay where they are and remain in their comfort zones, so use the excuse “it’s just the way I am” as a reason to not change. Fortunately many of us don’t feel this way and want to keep developing and evolving as people.
Practise makes perfect
If you want to change a behaviour then by being disciplined and practising the new behaviour, it will soon become part of ‘just who you are”. Research shows that it takes 21 days of practising the new behaviour before it becomes ‘second nature’ to you. That is pretty powerful stuff…..so if for example, you want to have more positive thoughts, then refuse to engage with that negative voice in your head. Do this for 21 days and soon the negative voice will get bored and disappear and be replaced by something more positive and supportive. Think of it like a well trodden path in the forest: its easy to walk down the well known and frequented path (think neural pathways in your brain) but much harder to walk down a different path that is overgrown and unused. If you focus and work hard to walk down the new pathway, then after 21 days that becomes the well trodden pathway and the old one becomes overgrown and lost. Before you know it, you have created a new more positive behaviour.
It’s not always easy to achieve (so get in touch if you want some help) but it is possible with discipline and determination. So next time you hear someone say “that’s just the way they are” you know that is just an excuse, it’s their choice and therefore they could chose something different.